thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
