Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
