how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
