I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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