Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
