Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
operation have a gay friend backfired
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize