while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
