Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
