My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
