Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
