just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
