got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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