plz talk dirty to me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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