I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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