if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
