I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
