you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
