So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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