So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
