You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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