maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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