Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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