dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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