need another drink. this is the easiest way
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
