I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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