So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You may now shotgun with the bride
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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