Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
