look no pants
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm determined to sit on that face.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
