When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He passed out mid-signature
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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