I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
