I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
