I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
