oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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