I feel great
I just peed on a car
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
