Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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