So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I didn't notice because vodka
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
