Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
