i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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