Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
