She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
