I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
