True but thats because hes a fetus.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
