I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
