What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
