Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
