i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
