he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
