She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
