And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
