He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
